Heroes For Hire #5
Heroes for Hire #4-8
Marvel Comics
Avg. Cost: $1
I’m often drawn to the lesser used characters and am always willing to give a chance to a book that attempts to revitalize those characters. Heroes for Hire was no exception. The book featured a line-up of C and D-list characters in the Marvel universe: Misty Knight, Colleen Wing, Tarantula, Black Cat, Shang Chi, Humbug, Paladin, and Orka. I picked up the first three issues during all of the Civil War hoopla. The book wasn’t bad, but I was forced to drop it due to budgetary concerns. But, I’ve since found a bunch of issues in the bargain boxes at my local comic shop, and I felt the urge to give Misty, Colleen, and the gang one more shot.
Issue #4 starts with the team (minus Paladin, thanks to his betrayal in the previous issue) watching their recently exploded office (and the restaurant beneath it) burn. This scene is quickly followed up with one where we see Tarantula and her father visiting a lost family member at the cemetery. Her father tries to convince her to give up the hero stuff and live a normal life. He’s killed by ninja for his trouble. Now, Tarantula is all alone in the world. Still, she’s able to kick ninja ass and makes her way back to where the team’s holed up.
Finally, seeing a disheveled Tarantula, Misty reveals the identity of their attacker: Ricadonna. Tarantula storms off seeking revenge by herself, but ultimately she just ends up following the team to Ricadonna’s hideout anyway.
Ricadonna has just come out of surgery. She’s just one of many in a long line of villains who are having skrull organs transplanted into their bodies. The logic behind this is that a skrull organ will make the recipient a shapeshifter. Many villains are using this as a means to leave the country and avoid the Registration Act.
Misty and company’s main objective is to destroying the organ replicating machines, and arrest Ricadonna (again). During the battle, we’re witness to some decent fights, and some witty dialogue between Black Cat and Humbug.
While Tony Stark uses his (and SHIELD’s) considerable resources to rebuild the Heroes For Hire’s base of operations, a boy comes in with a jar full of pennies wanting to hire a hero. Some strange looking individuals stole the kid’s robot friend, Victor. Naturally, Misty gives the assignment to Humbug.
There’s some funny dialogue between him and the kid, but after awhile, you just want to smack the crap out of both characters. And if that weren’t enough, we discover that the Headmen were behind Victor’s kidnapping. Did I mention that Victor is a Doombot?
Meanwhile, Misty and company get hired for another job by a Jewish hitman, which leads them into a confrontation with Grim Reaper, Man-Ape, and Saboteur. Grim Reaper’s big terrorist plan is to detonate a large spherical bomb on a cargo ship as it crashes into the Statue of Liberty. The girls kick ass and Orka rescues everyone from the bomb by dropping into the depths of the ocean.
No one’s heard from Humbug in awhile because he’s been busy having his head so someone else’s head can be attached to it. Luckily, he can still access his bug communication powers and call his teammates for help. It’s Shang Chi and Orka to the rescue!
The Doombot goes nutty and blasts a hole the size of a basketball in Orka’s chest. Shang Chi loses it and trounces the Headmen before thrashing the Doombot, bloodying his fists in the process. Tarantula, a biophysicist or something like that, is then able to return Humbug’s head to his body.
Over the course of these four issues, we’re treating with three pencilers: Billy Tucci, Francis Portela, and Al Rio. Surprisingly, they manage to keep the art consistent. I wish the stories had been taken more seriously. I still think there might be a place for the Heroes for Hire, but my idea won’t work until all of this Dark Reign/superhero registration nonsense is over.
In the end, these issues were still only “okay”, fitting snugly between the trash and the hidden jems of the bargain bin.
